I am extremely depressed. I don't know what's real or fiction because of paranoia.I really hate my life. everything I have gone through probably never even happen, and I can't find a purpose to live. I know my family and people around me love me, but I can't say the same thing. I don't know who to trust I don't know who the bad guys are or the good guys. I feel lost, nothing seems real anymore. Why can't I just kill myself? Why can't I just end this?